Germans Now Denying the Holocaust Telepathically, Say Jews

[Aptrgangr]

Germans Now Denying the Holocaust Telepathically, Say Jews

By Mike James in Germany – 27 March 2008

BERLIN (IFPN) -- Germany’s Central Council of Jews (ZJD) has demanded “immediate government action” in response to unsettling findings published in its quarterly social trends report, ‘Virulent Anti-Semitism in Germany Today, Issue 1, 2008’.

The report highlights a worrying increase in anti-Semitic sentiment and, more sensationally, the dissemination of holocaust denial “by means of telepathy”.

“It’s very frightening and something I cannot ignore given my horrific ordeal in Auschwitz, which I miraculously survived by hiding in a chimney until the camp was liberated,” says the ZJD’s president, Charlotte Knobloch, who is currently suing Google for editorial control of YouTube.

“Our own success in determining what constitutes suitable viewing for Internet users in Germany has forced us to imagine alternative scenarios available to young people who don’t trust what the government or their teachers are telling them.”

“Never underestimate the power of the Jewish imagination,” she adds.

In Germany, anyone who expresses anti-Semitic sentiments or who queries the holocaust by pointing to pre-war and post-war Jewish population statistics or anomalies in the historical record faces prison sentences of up to five years.

The law, however, is unclear on the issue of telepathically communicated anti-Semitism and holocaust denial.

EXTREMISTS

“We know they’re doing it,” says Stephan Kramer, General Secretary of the ZJD. “They are evading punishment by spreading anti-Semitic propaganda and denying the holocaust without writing a word or moving their lips.”

Although Kramer has dispatched an unspecified number of undercover Hassidic telepaths and kosher ‘sensitives’ briefed with the task of intercepting telepathic communications in streets, bars, clubs, restaurants, cafes, subways, shops, schools, workplaces and other venues where people may choose to express a personal opinion without being overheard by informers, he admits that telepathically communicated holocaust denial is hard to prove.

“But only empirically,” he explains. “Proof is an obsession of those unable to conceive of the truth. In the wrong hands, proof, or a lack of proof, can be misused to establish certain facts incompatible with the truth. Not all facts are factual. What do you want? Another holocaust?”

The German government, anxious to reassure the Jewish community, has moved swiftly to calm fears by allocating six million euros in research grants to the ZJD’s hospitality and personal leisure expenses budget.

“We are doing everything we can to eradicate the scourge of anti-Semitism in Germany and the European Union,” a government spokesman told IFPN. “The government takes very seriously reports that certain extremist elements in our society are engaged in telepathic holocaust denial and we are monitoring the situation closely.”

HUMILIATING

But official assurances came too late for Israeli tourists Shmuel Linsky and his wife, Diane.

“Just the other day I saw a very relaxed German couple with their children spending our reparations money on ice-cream and hot dogs,” says Shmuel scornfully. “They were deliberately and maliciously acting in a way that suggested they were proud to be German, without any sense of shame or guilt. I suddenly felt very threatened by this kind of unspoken anti-Semitism and was overwhelmed by the urge to radio an Israeli F-16 fighter bomber.”

Diane Linsky nods her head in pained agreement. They had decided on an impromptu vacation in Germany after watching Angela Merkel on television deliver an impassioned speech to Israel’s parliament, the Knesset.

“Mrs Merkel said that Germans would do everything they could to help Israel and protect the Jewish people from anti-Semitism,” she says, her voice cracking. “But when we got here we found we had to pay for our own hotel accommodation and none of the restaurants will let us eat for free, even though we’re Jews and have a long and unique history of suffering.”

Shmuel too is overcome by emotion, hardly able to speak. “It’s been humiliating. Even the waiters expect a tip, reminding me of my horrific ordeal in Auschwitz, which I miraculously survived by hiding in a chimney until the camp was liberated,” the 36-year-old Mr Linsky adds bitterly.

The Linskys say they had been made to feel “persecuted” and intend to file a claim for compensation. “In fact, we sued before we came out here,” says Diane. “Our lawyer in Tel Aviv was offering special terms and a 30 percent discount.”

PARANOID

Critics however have blasted the report as “hysterical”, “irresponsible” and “paranoid”.

“Given the long history of hereditary mental illness among people of Jewish descent, I would be inclined to treat reports of telepathically communicated anti-Semitism and holocaust denial with extreme caution,” one of them, a leading professor of evolutionary psychiatry, told IFPN anonymously.

“The Jews have a propensity for telling tall stories and a tendency to exaggerate things they hear, or think they hear. Before taking this much further, the German government would be well-advised to read the wealth of medical literature made available over the past 200 years by Jewish physicians themselves, much of which focuses on the very high percentage of dangerous psychotic illnesses and psychopathological disorders found among Ashkenazi Jews. A good starting point would be the Disability Studies Quarterly, Volume 27, No. 4, published in 2007.”

“Even their top religious people admit they’re nuts. Rabbis Eric Weiss and Nathaniel Ezray have said that ‘mental illness is a Jewish issue’ and point to the findings of geneticists at John Hopkins University who have identified lamentably high incidences of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder among Ashkenazi Jews. Many suffer from an autosomal recessive trait that goes back thousands of years and which manifests as congenital lying, delusional behaviour and paranoia.”

“Unfortunately, instead of being treated in high-security psychiatric hospitals, many of these mentally ill, psychopathic Jews seem to thrive in positions of leadership, spanning the worlds of international finance, the media, academia, law and politics, not only in Europe and Israel, of course, but also in North America and elsewhere.”

“We need to ask ourselves why they’ve been expelled from 109 locations around the world since the middle of the third century, and why we’re allowing them to repeat the cycle over and over again, harming not only themselves but everyone else.”

“I know it’s not a very politically correct thing to articulate,” the professor concludes, “but when it comes to Jews and some of the ludicrous things they say, I’m afraid we’re dealing with some very sick puppies.”

Charlotte Knobloch strongly disagrees. Jews have never harmed anyone, she says.

“The fact that the Jewish people have been expelled from 109 locations around the world doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with the Jewish people or that they are in any way disruptive or insane,” she insists. “On the contrary, all of those countries, for no real identifiable reason, experienced periods of anti-Semitic mass insanity, which spontaneously disappeared the moment we were gone.”

SURVIVORS

Meanwhile, as news breaks that at least a hundred stone-throwing Palestinian children have been either killed or maimed by vigilant Israeli F-16 fighter pilots, the Linskys arrive back in Tel Aviv to an emotional family reception.

Shmuel’s great uncle, Rabbi Dov Bronstein, hugs his relative and can hardly contain his tears: “Even though I was born and raised in New Jersey and never set foot in Europe, I will never forget my horrific ordeal in Auschwitz, which I miraculously survived by hiding in a chimney until the camp was liberated.”

“It’s so good to be home,” says a visibly relieved Diane Linsky. “We flew Lufthansa and we just knew the German pilots and air hostesses were telepathically denying the holocaust and sharing anti-Semitic thoughts with some of the European passengers .... and they were saying, like, you know, ‘Let’s dump those lying Jews out over the Mediterranean’.”

Lufthansa has promised to investigate the allegations.

---------------
Michael James, an Englishman, is a former freelance journalist resident in Germany since 1992 with additional long-haul stays in East Africa, Poland and Switzerland.
---------------

The Truth Seeker - Germans Now Denying the Holocaust Telepathically, Say Jews

[Strengthandhonour]

haha is this a joke?

[Marcus Marulus]

Of course it is. It is a satyre, to be more precise.

[Strengthandhonour]

Sometimes I read such crazy stories that I don't even know anymore..

[Delbáeth]

Hmm.. Aptrgangr i'll give you 3 guesses to figure out what I am thinking right now, no cheating!

[PointRadix]

Quote:
“Just the other day I saw a very relaxed German couple with their children spending our reparations money on ice-cream and hot dogs,” says Shmuel scornfully. “They were deliberately and maliciously acting in a way that suggested they were proud to be German, without any sense of shame or guilt. I suddenly felt very threatened by this kind of unspoken anti-Semitism and was overwhelmed by the urge to radio an Israeli F-16 fighter bomber.”

Ice Cream + Hot Dogs = Proud to be German ???

I wonder if they were also wearing baseball caps from McDonalds (or any other such malicious and shameless symbols of telepathic anti-Semitism).

Do they explain what language is used in these telepathic transmissions?

[Aptrgangr]

Originally Posted by Leipreachán

Hmm.. Aptrgangr i'll give you 3 guesses to figure out what I am thinking right now, no cheating!

You think what I am thinking, it's a parody on the thousands of similar sounding holocaust survival-, holocaust denial-, etc.pp. stories.

[Kernunnos]

Aptragangr is committing a telepatic crime, so he will receive a telepatic zapping by a special rabbi task force.

He will become virulently uncapable of eating hamburgers, watching Hollywood movies and dating non-european girls, until the spel will be retracted, after Apptrgangr opportune (telepatic) atonement.

The spell doesn't work for the Simpsons, either, since that is in intelligent product.

[Menydh]

Originally Posted by Aptrgangr

You think what I am thinking, it's a parody on the thousands of similar sounding holocaust survival-, holocaust denial-, etc.pp. stories.

Thinking about it, through all of the chats that we have had over IM I've never seen you mentioning any support for nazism or even an interest for holocaust revisionism.

I was wondering and now things start to be clear for me. I've seen the light. You must be a tele-nazi freak!

There is no other possible explanation.

[Delbáeth]

Originally Posted by Aptrgangr

You think what I am thinking, it's a parody on the thousands of similar sounding holocaust survival-, holocaust denial-, etc.pp. stories.

OMG DEM ARYUNS GOTZ TELEPATHIES!

[Kernunnos]

Originally Posted by Mynydd

Thinking about it, through all of the chats that we have had over IM I've never seen you mentioning any support for nazism or even an interest for holocaust revisionism.

I was wondering and now things start to be clear for me. I've seen the light. You must be a tele-nazi freak!

There is no other possible explanation.

It is just a case of "guilt fatigue", a case induced by repeating obsessively to modern people that they are responsible for what a minority of their kin did more than sixty years ago... collective guilt is just a case of cultural imperialism, that is stressing german nerves and, possibly, causing some sympathy for nazism even in moderate people.

It is a case induced by the so called "professionals of anti-fascism", a species that is now dwindling a little in Italy but that seems well alive worldwide, since the actual balance of power was created by the defeat of national socialism and Germany, so that as of now national socialism has a function of justifying the power over Europe of the US: the menace of the resurgence of national-socialism must be kept alive as it is well known to anthropology that any power structure in the world requires a common enemy to muster public aggressiveness against and to justify itself.

The nazi bogey allows conveniently to control any resurgence of a national spirit in Germany, who would otherwise take again a real lead in Europe for economic and organizational reason.

[Aptrgangr]

Originally Posted by Mynydd

Thinking about it, through all of the chats that we have had over IM I've never seen you mentioning any support for nazism or even an interest for holocaust revisionism.

I was wondering and now things start to be clear for me. I've seen the light. You must be a tele-nazi freak!

There is no other possible explanation.

Lately there was an article in one of the biggest newspapers here, it said "Unfortunately Israel has no lobby in Germany", and this was not meant satirically. I wrote them the only ones having no lobby in Germany is us Germans, but they did not publish it...

[PointRadix]

Originally Posted by Kernunnos

It is just a case of "guilt fatigue", a case induced by repeating obsessively to modern people that they are responsible for what a minority of their kin did more than sixty years ago... collective guilt is just a case of cultural imperialism, that is stressing german nerves and, possibly, causing some sympathy for nazism even in moderate people.

...

The nazi bogey allows conveniently to control any resurgence of a national spirit in Germany, who would otherwise take again a real lead in Europe for economic and organizational reason.

While I am now aware that this article was intended as a “satire” or “parody” it is still very close to an unfortunate underlying reality.

It is as if being “not allowed” to demonstrate pride in national heritage in something as simple as traditional cuisine. The place is now almost like Amsterdam, the open thoroughfares through the cities are full of restaurants offering American, Mexican, Indonesian, Turkish, Indian and even Greek and Italian food (all of which are highly palatable), but where are those offering “German” food – down some side road through some alley far from public view.

For example, while the modern chemical-burger is far removed from the original Hamburger (or Hamburg-style steak) the origin seems almost forgotten. Instead, the re-imported export via McDonalds is seen as being progressive, superior and more desirable (which totally defies logic, but must be more “correct”). While this is true of many different US-origin franchises all over the world, this is different in principle. Something like KFC obviously belongs to them entirely; if they can find export markets for that “product” good for them. But it is difficult to accept (albeit easy to understand) that something named “Hamburger” belongs, in the minds of the people, to a US.A multinational corporation.

I may be wrong and being paranoid or irrational, but it seems that “Fast Food Imperialism” has slowly become almost universal in the “free” world (much more so than the imperialism by other forms of popular culture). To make matters worse, when I returned to Germany to visit with my family last year, I actually saw a small (indigenous) establishment with a sign proudly proclaiming that they were making and selling “US-Burgers” (and the worst thing is that the owners were probably “innocently” unaware of the irony). On mentioning it, I was met with perplexed and non-committal response (which in retrospect probably meant “yes, we know that, but you really should have said that as an unspoken message”).

I may as well post this, since these thoughts have already been telepathically intercepted and analysed or “flagged as inappropriate” in a secret lair somewhere.