American in 19 lessons

[Carnyx]

American in 19 lessons

A few advises to students and neophytes to become fluent!

If you ask for a Coca-Cola say guimi a coouc. If you ask for a coffee and a biscuit say cofi an dounat. If you ask some eggs and ham say djam an egs. If you stick a finger in the taxi's door say foc. If something is expensive say foc. If you fell in the subway (or elsewhere) say foc. If you are attacked in the Bronx (or elsewhere) say foc. If you see one of those girls one only see in movies say outa foc. If someone shout after you using the word foc answer back foquiou tou. If you lose your passport, inform a policeman and say aï lost maï foquin peipers. If you are lost in the city (or elsewhere), shout aï am foquin lost. When speaking of someone say de foquin gaï overder. If you want to sleep with this pretty blonde,say aï wanna foc with you. If you want to sleep with this pretty brunette, tellher haï! can aï foquiou? If you don't know how to take a taxi,ask haou tou get a foquin cab. If what you are doing to do doesn't work, say foc zat shit. If you are very upset, do not say refoc but simply say foc several times. If someone is joking (having on you), ask ariou foquin mi? And if all those instructions were insufficients... ouat da foc you ouant?

Lesson send by Cécile english teacher in Troyes.

Note : French phonetic i = e, aï = i, oua = w, q = (c)k, gu = g

[The Venetian]

Originally Posted by Duchemin

Note : French phonetic i = e, aï = i, oua = w, q = (c)k, gu = g

Nice one Duchemin ! - you truly are a fluent A-Meri-Kan speaker......LOL

[Carnyx]

Originally Posted by Adaman

Nice one Duchemin ! - you truly are a fluent A-Meri-Kan speaker......LOL

Jesus Christ! I'm indeed!

[Dr. Solar Wolff]

This is funny but it points up a real problem for us. What your passport says (or your green card or lack thereof) is less important than how others view you concerning "being an American". For instance, if you drive a cool little Toyota, have cool sunglasses, know who George W. Bush is, know the top ten pop tunes, and can speak enough English to order at a fast food drive through, foc, you are an American.

[Carnyx]

This funny "lesson" is getting less and less accurate, since I heard that some of your countrymen don't even speak a word of American : Mexicans. not to mention Ebonics which is just some Creole. Spanish is thought to become the first language in the US of A. in a short time, right?

About your point. If it can make you feel "better" (but I don't think so...), we've the same problem here.

[Dr. Solar Wolff]

Originally Posted by Duchemin

This funny "lesson" is getting less and less accurate, since I heard that some of your countrymen don't even speak a word of American : Mexicans. not to mention Ebonics which is just some Creole. Spanish is thought to become the first language in the US of A. in a short time, right?

About your point. If it can make you feel "better" (but I don't think so...), we've the same problem here.

Duchemin,

A higher percentage of the population of Hamburg can speak English than in Los Angeles. But this is a real mind-blower. A higher percentage of the population of Hong Kong speak English than in Los Angeles.

[Astorp]

My mind is blown out by this one, but I`m not that surprised.

I am reading
Alien nation : common sense about America's immigration disaster

by Peter Brimelow.

A real mindblower. Not very new but says what seems to be the truth about the subject (and it`s sinister perpetrators). Enjoy.