Stranded threesomes (Humour)

[Gil]

Stranded threesomes

On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are suddenly stranded by, as you might expect, a shipwreck:

2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 Portuguese men and 1 Portuguese woman
2 English men and 1 English woman
2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman
2 American men and 1 American woman
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman

One month later on these same absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage-a-trois.

The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.

The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.


The two Portuguese men started discussing football and left the woman cleaning the hut.


The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.

The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean, and another long look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming.

The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant and a laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their stores.

The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide because the American woman keeps endlessly complaining about her body; the true nature of feminism; how she can do everything they can do; the necessity of fulfillment; the equal division of household chores; how sand and palm trees make her look fat; how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do; but how her relationship with her mother is improving and how at least the taxes are low and it isn't raining.

The two Irish men have divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few litres of coconut whisky. But they're satisfied because at least the English aren't getting laid either.

[ÅnÐReS]

LOL!

[Awar]

Hehe... good, except Bulgarian women are really gorgeous

[Frankiz]

A Frenchman, a Englishman and a really gorgeous girl travelling by train through France. The girl is exceptionnaly beautiful and both men have noticed it of course...

The train enters a tunnel and the lights go out. Then comes a kissing noise followed by the sound of a really loud slap.

When the train exites the tunnel, the woman and the Englishman are sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman is holding his cheek.

The Frenchman thinks 'That Englishman must have tried to kiss the woman and she missed him and slapped me instead.'

The woman is thinking: 'The Frenchman must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.'

And the Englishman is thinking: 'Great! The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that French idiot again.'

[Figlio della Lupa]

We have an Italian version of the desert island joke. I'll write it here in English:

The department of Behavioral Sciences at a noted Italian University has decided to do a single experiment: They have divided ten islands in the middle of the ocean and have brought the following people:

2 Sicilian men and 1 Sicilian woman
2 Neapolitan men and 1 Neapolitan woman
2 Sudtiroler men and 1 Sudtirolar woman
2 Sardinian men and 1 Sardinian woman
2 Tuscan men and 1 Tuscan woman
2 Ligurian men and 1 Ligurian woman
2 Venetian men and 1 Venetian woman
2 Turinese men and 1 Turinese woman
2 Roman men and 1 Roman woman
2 Milanese men and 1 Milanese woman

After two months they have verified that the followed events have happened:

1. One of the Sicilian men has killed the other to be with the Sicilian woman

2. The two Neapolitan men live with the Neapolitan woman in a harmonious mènage a trois.

3. The two Sudtiroler men have created a strict weekly alternating schedule to be with the Sudtiroler woman.

4. The two Sardinian men sleep with each other, while the Sardinian woman cooks and cleans for them.

5. The two Tuscan men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the Tuscan woman.

6. The two Ligurian men took one look at the Ligurian woman, then looked at the sea and started swiming.

7. The two Venetian men both opened a distillery each. They cannot remember if they had sex with the Venetian woman or no, thanks to too much grappa di cocco. But at least they are satisfied that there are no southerners around.

8. Each of the Turinese men is convinced that the Turinese woman is having sex with only him.

9. The two Roman men have found another woman to trade partners with.

10. The two Milanese men are still trying to decide who is stronger, while the Milanese woman has swam to the Romans' island.

[trinacria]

Originally Posted by Figlio della Lupa

7. The two Venetian men both opened a distillery each. They cannot remember if they had sex with the Venetian woman or no, thanks to too much grappa di cocco. But at least they are satisfied that there are no southerners around.

10. The two Milanese men are still trying to decide who is stronger, while the Milanese woman has swam to the Romans' island.

Priceless.

Hell, I'd swim to the Romans' island. Romans are gorgeeeeeeeeeous.

And I think the Sicilian island would go like this:
Two men, Calogero and Salvatore eye a girl, Catarina at church (naturally). Eventually they court her. Salvatore ends up being killed in a freak caponata accident where he slipped and fell into a barn full of rabid sheep. Coincidence? I think not. But the moral of the story is in ten years she becomes old and cranky and never steps out of the kitchen.

[Figlio della Lupa]

Originally Posted by trinacria

Priceless.

Hell, I'd swim to the Romans' island. Romans are gorgeeeeeeeeeous.

And I think the Sicilian island would go like this:
Two men, Calogero and Salvatore eye a girl, Catarina at church (naturally). Eventually they court her. Salvatore ends up being killed in a freak caponata accident where he slipped and fell into a barn full of rabid sheep. Coincidence? I think not. But the moral of the story is in ten years she becomes old and cranky and never steps out of the kitchen.

Very hannibal-esque.

According to that joke, I am a jealous drunk xenophobe who engages in ménage a trois.

[trinacria]

Originally Posted by Figlio della Lupa

Very hannibal-esque.

According to that joke, I am a jealous drunk xenophobe who engages in ménage a trois.

Correction.

Jealous drunk xenophobe who engages in ménage a trois and falls into sheep corrals.



Baaaaahhhhh...

[Figlio della Lupa]

Originally Posted by trinacria

Correction.

Jealous drunk xenophobe who engages in ménage a trois and falls into sheep corrals.



Baaaaahhhhh...

Già io sono il montone smarrito.