Bosanske piramide i ostale lagane teme [lowbrow thread]

[Heretik]

E ne bi rekao bato.

Prije da ce se srbija raspasti nego JewSA.

[Marcus Marulus]

Već su pukli i jedni i drugi....

[Heretik]

Po svjezim informacijama sa lica dogadjanja, USA je dobro...

[Marcus Marulus]

Koji Musa?

[Aramis]

Originally Posted by Arthur Gordon Pym

Koji Musa?

usa bolan, usa. kakav musa.

[Marcus Marulus]

Iz svečane lože na otvaranju Olimpijskih igara
I DŽORDŽ BUŠ PODIGAO TRI PRSTA!

Kada su defilovali srpski sportisti, američki predsednik tražio od Vuka Jeremića da mu objasni šta znači pozdrav sa tri prsta, koje je i sam podigao pošto mu je ministar rekao da je to stari srpski pozdrav

Press Online :: I DŽORDŽ BUÅ* PODIGAO TRI PRSTA!

[Marcus Marulus]

- Glavni izvoz kompanije Chucka Norrisa je bol.

- Chuck Norris nikad ne spava. On čeka.

- Chuck Norris je jednom opalio kružnim udarcem nekoga tako snažno da je njegova noga prešla brzinu svjetlosti, vratila se kroz vrijeme i srušila njemačke avione u Drugom svjetskom ratu.

- Ako trenutno vidite Chucka Norrisa i on može vidjeti vas. Ako trenutno ne vidite Chucka Norris vjerojatno vas nekoliko sekundi dijeli od sigurne smrti.

- Chuck Norris je jednom udario službenicu u Konzumu u trbuh jer mu nije vratila točan kusur.

- Chuck Norris podrezuje svoju bradu sa razačem za živicu.

- Chuck Norris čačka zube staklenom vunom.

- Chuck Norris jede mutirane skakavce za doručak.

- Chuck Norris voli piti svoju kavu sa motornim uljem.

- Prije svake epizode Walkera, teksaškog renždera, Chucku Norrisu se ubrizgava 5 inekcija slonovskog uspavljivača. Ovo se naravno radi da bi ograničili njegovu snagu i mobilnost, kako bi smanjili postotak smrtnosti na setu Walkera, teksaškog rendžera.

[Pirate]

Haha the last one is good, other ones I heard already.

Anyway Chuck Norris stuff is getting old...

Fortunately there are a lof of stupid American series, like that 24 with Jack Bauer..

How to survive Jack Bauer

“Don't.” - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy on how to survive Jack Bauer

Cultural Anthropological experts estimate that out of the 1,337.47 people to have interacted with Bauer, roughly -542.5 (don't ask) have survived. Many books have been written on how to increase one's chances of not dying when encountering Bauer. Initial strategies included the good old duck and cover, kiss and run, pretend you need to go to the toilet and if I can't see you, you can't see me. All of these have proved ineffective. A little known fact about chances of survival upon meeting Jack Bauer can be summed up by Newton's fourth law of motion: Persons encountering Jack may be summed up as the sum of four parts: 1, that that person has now entered a state of constant fear. 2. that the persons involved has already received the grossly unequal reaction top their action. 3, that the person in question has let loose a stream of urin (dictated by the equation F=ma) the force of which may result in a total disintigration of the trousers. And 4, that the individual will suddently and irrivocable obtain a belief in god.

Penn Teller on what not to do when you encounter Bauer.With the improvement in computer power, many human lives have been saved by running simulations on how to survive instead of sending interns to test theories.

Here are the top strategies given by experts today:

Talk. You know you are going to eventually and the sooner you start the more unbroken fingers you will have afterwards. Go ahead and tell him who hired you, where you hid the gas canisters, that you cry after ejaculating and that sometimes you just need someone to tell you that you are special.
Kill yourself. Numerous people have found that carrying a cyanide pill at all times increases your chances of not dying.
Talk. We can't stress this enough. If you really don't know make something up. Tell him you are working for Bill Gates or that your ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend has the access codes.
Lie that you date his daughter -- but this only helps in the short run.
Claim that you don't speak English. Bauer will have to wait for a translator, giving you precious minutes to take that cyanide pill. Unless it is one of the many lanuages he speaks, in which case your screwed
Talk. Once again, tell him the disarm codes, tell him where the bombs are, who the mole is, who you're working for. Exclaim loudly after telling Bauer anything that there is NO TIME. Bauer will leave immediatly, thus allowing you to take that suicide pill.

[BeliAndjeo]

Originally Posted by Arthur Gordon Pym

- Glavni izvoz kompanije Chucka Norrisa je bol.

- Chuck Norris nikad ne spava. On čeka.

- Chuck Norris je jednom opalio kružnim udarcem nekoga tako snažno da je njegova noga prešla brzinu svjetlosti, vratila se kroz vrijeme i srušila njemačke avione u Drugom svjetskom ratu.

- Ako trenutno vidite Chucka Norrisa i on može vidjeti vas. Ako trenutno ne vidite Chucka Norris vjerojatno vas nekoliko sekundi dijeli od sigurne smrti.

- Chuck Norris je jednom udario službenicu u Konzumu u trbuh jer mu nije vratila točan kusur.

- Chuck Norris podrezuje svoju bradu sa razačem za živicu.

- Chuck Norris čačka zube staklenom vunom.

- Chuck Norris jede mutirane skakavce za doručak.

- Chuck Norris voli piti svoju kavu sa motornim uljem.

- Prije svake epizode Walkera, teksaškog renždera, Chucku Norrisu se ubrizgava 5 inekcija slonovskog uspavljivača. Ovo se naravno radi da bi ograničili njegovu snagu i mobilnost, kako bi smanjili postotak smrtnosti na setu Walkera, teksaškog rendžera.

i ovo si ti smislio,priznaj

[Marcus Marulus]

ma da, nego tko bi drugi

[BeliAndjeo]

Originally Posted by Arthur Gordon Pym

ma da, nego tko bi drugi

to i ja kazem,vidi se

[Heretik]

Baca malo na Marulusa da...

[Marcus Marulus]

Sad ga konačno možemo pojesti (BelogAndjela/Musaku)

[Heretik]

Ti ga jedi... Ja sigurno necu!

[BeliAndjeo]

I read today something interesting..It is anecdote which was writen by Borislav Mihajlovic Mihiz from one of getherings of Serbian and Croatian artists in Rovinj,during happy '70...I hope my fellow Croats won't get mad at me because of thisHere it is:

" dear Croatian gentlmen,do you want to talk about differences between Croats and Serbs?"Asked them Serbian painter Mica Popovic...Croats, of course, looked each other suspiciusly:"what is Vlah going to do now?"..Mr. Popovic lighted his cigarette,called bartender and ordered drink for all of them..."Well,if i want to tell what are differences between our people, i should tell first what kind of people are Serbs and what kind of people are Croats"..And then,he started with how Serbs are one of the less solidarity nations on the Earth,nation who think they are the most important on the Earth,nation who is parading with it's courage,with their big lossiness,how Serbs are annoying everybody telling where they lost more men,that Serbs are lazy in their basic,how Serbs are lacking in perseverance and full of pathetic...Mr. Popovic was talking about this for more than half an hour,about bad sides of Serbian people that Croats were cheering on that,applauding for five minutes because,to be honest,that was the worse telling about Serbs from one Serb that they ever heard..And then,Mr. Popovic,lighed his cigarette again,made short pause and then told:"That are Serbs and now i am going to tell you what kind nation are Croats"..He said that Croats are,basically,in historical point of view,on of the less important Europian nation,which did not do anything important and talking about their culture that they are nation whose culture is derivate of middle Europian cultures..But,after only two minutes of his speech,Croats started with protesting how that is not true,that he is exaggerating,that he is insulting them,etc..Mr.Popovic,listen them very carefully and then he said:" topic was differences between our nations,right?Well,dear Croats,difference is that,i could talk for half an hour about bad sides of my nation while you cannot two minutes about yours..I am done here"...That was before more than 30 years and it seems that nothing changed there...Serbian sins are maybe big and we all should talk about them in Belgrade,in Zagreb ev