Another tough question..

[trinacria]

As you may or may not know, when bored, I flip on my television and watch Sex and the City (as I imagine many a New York woman does as well). Recently, I've come across an episode where one of the women, excuse the French, gets pregnant from a "mercy fuck" with her ex boyfriend. She eventually decides to have the baby on her own, with little or no help from him, little or no paternal intervention at all (which I find HORRIBLY WRONG).

They stay broken up and she, while pregnant with his child, carries on sexual relationships with other men. In the end, mom and dad end up together, but I'm still quite disgusted by it all. I think once you're pregnant, that's the end of the line, and you MUST stay with the father of your child. No questions asked.

My question is: if you entered a relationship with a woman who was pregnant and had sex with you and declined to tell you, would you end it? I definitely would.

[Scoob]

Originally Posted by trinacria

My question is: if you entered a relationship with a woman who was pregnant and had sex with you and declined to tell you [that she was pregnant with another man's child], would you end it? I definitely would.

If the relationship was anything serious for me, I would seriously consider ending it. I would also consider it a matter of respect/chemistry: it would really be the woman's duty to disclose that info or deal with the matter herself (if it was early).

I would not want to raise another man's child. Just one more reason for women to be careful who they sleep with. No guy wants to be reminded of a woman's sexual past, and somebody else's kid is an ugly reminder. Contrary to what people think now, the "old folks" who established age-old traditional attitudes towards sex were not naive folk. Preserving virginity can be important, especially for women, because they can get pregant and need to preserve their emotional resources intact + undamaged (by heartbreaks from users + losers) to be good mothers. And abortions can physically damage a woman's body.

But as people have said, this is not so easy in modern times, and I don't blame women for all the jerks who are out there. In the end, I feel that female sexuality is really a woman's issue, and that I as a male shouldn't say much about it anyway.

[Agrippa]

I would mainly change to laws for that matter to change things a little bit as a first step:
a) If a woman lies about the father thats a serious crime and will be punished.
b) If a woman cheats in the marriage she will lose all her rights (financial etc.) and in extreme cases the parental care and punishment either - of course she can get a divorce, but she must first do it then she can have another relationship.

Now marriage doesnt mean to much any more, it made sense once it was relative social security for the female and sexual and personal security for the male + a production and life unity. Thats lost now and marriage doesnt make a big difference at all.
Furthermore females acting amoralic and destructive have all rights on their side, these two steps alone would change the direction, though more measures would be necessary.

And it would be a rather unpleasant experience to have sex with a women which is pregnant from another guy, not really acceptable to me, if she would have lied either, much worse...

I can just agree with Scoob.

[Awar]

I agree with Scoob and Agrippa, but, that's just what happens in an evolving society.
The constants are biological, everything else is just building or masking upon that.

I would expect a woman to be honest about the big issues with me,
if she isn't, well, we don't have anything to do together anyway.

Me, I would love to find one woman to settle down with,
and I'd be more than willing to quiet my impulses if that would help
build a good, stable and happy family, but it's important to KNOW
what biological constants there are, so you can avoid them,
not just act as if these impulses don't exist, or are something 'horrible'.

So, to try to understand a female's impulses in a given situation
is more than important. It's easy to judge, especially when you have no clue.

[Menydh]

Originally Posted by Agrippa

I would mainly change to laws for that matter to change things a little bit as a first step:
a) If a woman lies about the father thats a serious crime and will be punished.
b) If a woman cheats in the marriage she will lose all her rights (financial etc.) and in extreme cases the parental care and punishment either - of course she can get a divorce, but she must first do it then she can have another relationship.

I strongly agree with you on those two.

I would also consider it a serious crime if the woman was married and had children of her husband, and then had one more child from an extramarital affair.


As for men, I would make the laws harsher for men who tried to avoid taking full responsibility and care for their biological children.

[Gil]

I think you should flip to HBO and watch the Sopranos.

[Perun]

Sex and the City and the Sopranos are both on HBO.

[Gil]

Damn me and my lack of american-tv knowledge! Punish me!

[Strengthandhonour]

Originally Posted by Manji

I think you should flip to HBO and watch the Sopranos.

I second that
But to answer the question, Yes I would end the relationship. I am the type of person that feels guilty just for looking at a friend's girlfriend

[trinacria]

I think both men and women should be punished for adultery. It takes two to tango, my friends!

And on the subject of the Sopranos, I can't stand ANY show where the people are "Italian", in the mafia, and YET cannot speak a WORD of the language. Case closed.