Similarities Lead to Marriage Satisfaction

[Menydh]

Study Shows Like Similarities Lead to Marriage Satisfaction

Scientific American
February 14, 2005

With Valentine's day here again, many singles may be hoping Cupid's arrow will strike. And if you're wondering whether a new mate is marriage material, the results of a new study hint that you're better off looking for a bird of the same feather instead of waiting for an opposite to attract. Eva C. Klohnen and Shanhong Luo of the University of Iowa analyzed data collected from nearly 300 couples that participated in the Iowa Marital Assessment Project. The questionnaires covered personality characteristics and attitudes as well as a number of indicators of marriage quality, including how couples approach conflict and how satisfied they feel with their union. The findings, published today in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, show that people marry mates with highly similar attitudes and values. The authors suggest that the attraction arises "because attitudes are highly visible and salient characteristics and they are fundamental to the way people live their lives."


The findings also suggest that once in a committed relationship, similarities in personality become more important for a happy marriage. Only resemblances in partners' personality traits were related to marital satisfaction, the researchers discovered. They posit that this is because being in a long-term relationship "entails regular interaction and requires extensive coordination in dealing with tasks, issues and problems of daily living. Whereas personality similarity is likely to facilitate this process, personality differences may result in more friction and conflict in daily life." --Sarah Graham



[source]

[Ederico]

One more reason to marry your own kind. I agree with the findings of this study, but I believe that the above is mere common sense and nothing more. I was never attracted to my opposites (except when it comes to gender ), and always preferred someone that shared my spirit, my ideas, my temperament, and my objectives.

[Marcus Marulus]

Wasn't it always obvious? The myth that "opposites attract" may be true only in the restricted sense, in case of some short-lived juvenile relationships, but for any stable and enduring relationship or marriage, compatibility and similarity of character(s) is more than recommendable.

[Delbáeth]

Originally Posted by Marulus

Wasn't it always obvious? The myth that "opposites attract" may be true only in the restricted sense, in case of some short-lived juvenile relationships, but for any stable and enduring relationship or marriage, compatibility and similarity of character(s) is more than recommendable.

Indeed. Right now I prefer going for my complete and utter opposite. This is because I know I am young and just looking for fun, which such a relationship does tend to bring. But even i'm not a fool and realise in a long term relationship, we must have lots in common, and she must be submissive to my every order! .

[Lutiferre]

Originally Posted by Marulus

Wasn't it always obvious? The myth that "opposites attract" may be true only in the restricted sense, in case of some short-lived juvenile relationships, but for any stable and enduring relationship or marriage, compatibility and similarity of character(s) is more than recommendable.

I dont think these kinds of "findings" should be taken all to seriously. Next month or year another finding will suggest the opposite, or perhaps just something completely different.

Being too similar in a serious relationship definitely isnt good, neither is being too different. Its a question of balance. Having both some similarities and differences is probably best. But it all comes down to the relationship in question, you cant effectively generalize.

[Fallen Angel]

In my case it's entirely the opposite. My husband and I don't have so many similarities but we complete each other. These studies and articles you folks post here are just like any study. I agree they can't be taken too seriously.