Mother is role model in son's choice of wife: study

[Exeter]

NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) - If a man's mother is highly educated, chances are the woman he marries will have a similar education, according to a new study.

Researchers at the University of Iowa found that nearly 80 percent of high-achieving men who were sons of mothers with college degrees married women with a similar education.

And 62 percent of men whose mothers had graduate degrees tied the knot with a graduate degree holder.

"These young men look up to their mothers as role models. They grew up in a family where their mothers were educated women," sociologist Christine Whelan, who conducted the study, said in an interview.

"For an increasing number of these men ... when they make their own choices about someone who they think will be a good wife in the future or a good mother, they go back to their role models."

Whelan and her colleague Christie Boxer studied data on 3,700 people who took part in a survey about men and the educational level of the women close to them.

All the men surveyed were considered to be high achievers in their 20s and 30s who earned salaries in the top 10 percent for their age group.

The researchers found that more than 70 percent of the men had mothers who worked while they were growing up, and that the same group was twice as likely to marry women who made $50,000 or more a year.

Whelan, who interviewed more than 100 men and has written a book entitled "Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women", found many men welcomed the idea of a working spouse.

"They are increasing excited about the idea that they won't have to be the only bread winner in the family, so these men are attracted to women who have a job and express a continuing interest to work," Whelan explained. (Reporting by Irene Kuan; Editing by Patricia Reaney)

Mother is role model in son\'s choice of wife: study | Lifestyle | Living | Reuters

What do you think about this?

[Menydh]

Reinventing the Oedipus complex?

[Lutiferre]

I dont like all this talk about "dating your mother".

[Arthur Gordon Pym]

And sometimes they say that women choose for husbands those who resemble (physically and/or mentally) their fathers.

[Agrippa]

I think the approach is wrong and does just propagate a certain role model in itself.

They should have rather concentrated at those most likely lower number of high achievers which come from families with a non-educated mother. This would be much more interesting, since if they are in such a high social class and though social pressure is working on them, if those would take less educated women than their counterparts, it would say us something.

That way it tells us nothing, because if being in that social class, you most likely meet more women of a similar kind and will be more accepted with a women which has a higher own social status, which today means to work and being educated for women as well as men.

Nowadays there are fewer and fewer intelligent women which dont work and have no high education, which means there will be always a positive social selection in that direction. If a woman doesnt achieve something on their own from an educational and social perspective, more an more men are inclined to think whats wrong with her and thats right if considering the circumstances. Homogamy is another aspect of partner selection which must lead to such preferences in the sociocultural set they spoke about.

[Delbáeth]

Just because men like women who will cook, clean, raise the kids, stay at home, shop for them, and generally look after them, doesn't mean we look for our mother in women we date .

[Strengthandhonour]

I think this is partly true.
I think our mothers influence the way we perceive women and what type of women are worthy of marriage as well as our expectations. I think that's as far as it goes though.

[Susi]

I think it's true in a way but it isn't the only factor.

Also the best thing to see when you are thinking about going with a man is how he treats his mother because in general it reflects on how he'll treat any potential spouse.

[Agrippa]

Originally Posted by Susi

Also the best thing to see when you are thinking about going with a man is how he treats his mother because in general it reflects on how he'll treat any potential spouse.

That would be interesting to elaborate further and whether there are results indicating this on a more objective base. I think a certain truth is in it indeed, though I know cases which were the drastic opposite. F.e. males which treated their mother in a very caring and sensitive way, but looked on many other women as if they were "sluts" to say it blunt and treated them like that also. This is particularly common for people from a certain traditional or higher social background, which might look down on all women which dont fulfil the standard and role they are used to. Or the opposite, people which dont really cared too much for their mother, but...you know what I mean.

[Carnyx]

Yet another so interesting study.

[Susi]

Originally Posted by Agrippa

That would be interesting to elaborate further and whether there are results indicating this on a more objective base. I think a certain truth is in it indeed, though I know cases which were the drastic opposite. F.e. males which treated their mother in a very caring and sensitive way, but looked on many other women as if they were "sluts" to say it blunt and treated them like that also. This is particularly common for people from a certain traditional or higher social background, which might look down on all women which dont fulfil the standard and role they are used to. Or the opposite, people which dont really cared too much for their mother, but...you know what I mean.

Well I've seen some results that indicat my theory... though your example does exist and I've seen that too. People who don't care for their mother are awful. And they treat their girlfriend/spouse/whatever much worse than their mother.

[Strengthandhonour]

That is not always true I think.
Look at how people in the Western World treat their parents once they turn old,Typically we just throw them in an asylum. I think it's worst to do that to your family than to yell at them or curse at them.

[Delbáeth]

Originally Posted by Strengthandhonour

That is not always true I think.
Look at how people in the Western World treat their parents once they turn old,Typically we just throw them in an asylum. I think it's worst to do that to your family than to yell at them or curse at them.

I'm not defending it.. but I know what Homes are like.

My mother has been working in Elderly Care Homes for a good 20 years. It isn't an easy job, and I can understand why some families just can't cope with it.

[BeornWulfWer]

Originally Posted by Susi

I think it's true in a way but it isn't the only factor.

Also the best thing to see when you are thinking about going with a man is how he treats his mother because in general it reflects on how he'll treat any potential spouse.

I couldn't agree with you more.

In my experience, I have found my reliance upon my Mother has been replaced by my reliance upon my partner.

I mean, for God's sake, who else will scrub my back for me?

Originally Posted by Delbáeth

I'm not defending it.. but I know what Homes are like.

My mother has been working in Elderly Care Homes for a good 20 years. It isn't an easy job, and I can understand why some families just can't cope with it.

No reference to you, but surely that is no excuse?

Looking after Babies is a nightmare at times, but I can guarantee that most of the occupants of care homes never thought once to place their children in homes or extended places of care.

People seem to forget that life is about procreating to secure your lineage and your interests when old and feeble.

Old parents are our concern. Perhaps people wouldn't find it so hard if they would only stop to think of others before themselves.

Perhaps this is the disease of modern Europeans? Not looking after the ones who carried us here?

[Delbáeth]

Originally Posted by BeornWulfWer

No reference to you, but surely that is no excuse?

It isn't an attempt at an excuse, some people really just cannot cope.

Looking after Babies is a nightmare at times, but I can guarantee that most of the occupants of care homes never thought once to place their children in homes or extended places of care.

You cannot even make that comparison. A new born baby, and an 76 year old man suffering from alcohol induced senile dementia are worlds apart.

People seem to forget that life is about procreating to secure your lineage and your interests when old and feeble.

Could you rephrase that please?

Old parents are our concern. Perhaps people wouldn't find it so hard if they would only stop to think of others before themselves.

I think you'll find that in alot of cases, people are thinking about others, when they place someone in a Care Home.

Care Homes tend to be the best place for some people. What about young families? When they're trying to raise chilldren, they can't care for an elderly sick person as well.

Perhaps this is the disease of modern Europeans? Not looking after the ones who carried us here?

I think it is pretty caring when you ensure that your loved ones are being cared for as best as possible in their final days.

Don't forget about the financial inssues as well. Or the emotional issues.