Mother is role model in son's choice of wife: study

[Pro Hibernia]

Originally Posted by BeornWulfWer

Of course not. I wouldn't want a family to splinter over the care of a member, but this is where the family should pool together to make sure they cope.

I agree if it is possible for the family to cope, then they should. If not though, well they can't and at least they tried.

I can understand if the parents had only one child, but where they had 2,3 or 4 do you think that can be a legitimate outcome?

Depends on ages as well.

I do

Can I ask where you live and how it differs from the UK?

Glasgow , and coming from what i've seen in alot of cases, pensions etc are just pennies compared to what someone needs to sustain them selves in this world today.

I work in the Kitchens in a Care Home, and I think I make more in Min-wage than my grandmother gets in her pension.

[BeornWulfWer]

Originally Posted by Delbáeth

Glasgow , and coming from what i've seen in alot of cases, pensions etc are just pennies compared to what someone needs to sustain them selves in this world today.

It is not so much the pension, but the Governments insistence to keep on heavily taxing the Pensioners.

No allowance for heating or electricity either.

I work in the Kitchens in a Care Home, and I think I make more in Min-wage than my grandmother gets in her pension.

That is to be expected, but as I said above, you can get better jobs as you mature whereas she can't. Yet the government still send bills for poll tax and gas and whatnot.




You are from Glasgow! That accounts for the fanatical display of Celtic then.

[Pro Hibernia]

Originally Posted by BeornWulfWer

It is not so much the pension, but the Governments insistence to keep on heavily taxing the Pensioners.

No allowance for heating or electricity either.

That is to be expected, but as I said above, you can get better jobs as you mature whereas she can't. Yet the government still send bills for poll tax and gas and whatnot.

In short: Government and Labour are to blame . No wonder the torries are taking the lead.

You are from Glasgow! That accounts for the fanatical display of Celtic then.

Indeed! One must show their colorus with pride !

[BeornWulfWer]

Originally Posted by Delbáeth

In short: Government and Labour are to blame . No wonder the torries are taking the lead.

And that is the problem. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Indeed! One must show their colorus with pride !

I might just have to show off my Bristol City colours then.

[Agrippa]

Originally Posted by BeornWulfWer

The highlighted sentences just show how the modern world has decayed from it's previous, accepted norms.

Both partners working, balancing childcare and work. Extended families outside of village, town or city boundaries. The collapse of family values and the family core, etc, etc...have, in my eyes all played its part in declining the care we can provide to our loved ones.

I know my thoughts are probably, to some, archaic and unsuitable to modern perceptions and standards, but I do like to think we can revert back to some core values which have sadly been lost.

We can break the problem down to something simple on a practical level too I might add, namely that caring for old people in need of care is comparable to an economic pyramid game. It only works good as long as the base is strong and much more numerous than the benefiting peak. This leads to the consequence of constant population growth for the old being respected in a traditional way and cared for. And of course, today the base is sick, goes down the drain, we get "the opposite pyramid" in a worst case scenario and at the same time the old getting even older and can live, or better survive with horrible diseases which make them a case for care without dying to say it blunt. With the effect of them surviving that way in many cases just because of special medical care and help, which is hard to provide by the family. This kind of special care didnt exist in the past.

This was rarely the case in the past and the old were often something special, because there were few and they had something of knowledge and experience the young really cared for. In our postindustrial society with masses of old, which often lack the dignity of a patriarch or matriarch of the past and have little of interest to tell for the superficial and constantly shrinking masses of the young, we have a problem indeed which goes beyond the known "generation gap".

The only option for a modern world, even if our social life would get healthier again as well as our base, is to consider the technical progress first on a medical level, to avoid helpless cases and if they occur, that there are enough people and technical help to cope with it left, for the easier cases with local social network organisation, like for the childcare. I propose such "clan like" social network structures on a local level, which I consider the only option for getting a true healthy community spirit and base again. We can't go back to the clan-structure and even if, it would be a bad solution with many problems for our civilisation and modern-effective structures. So we should revive the best parts of it for a modern society and get back something of what Europeans lost not just in the last decades, but in many parts centuries ago already, since the independent clan-family structures being largely destroyed in the context of the Feudal Age, Christianity and Industrial Revolution.

[Susi]

Sort of going offtopic really this, isn't it? I guess it's sort of related.

I'd never ever put my nan in a home ever. ,-, She'd never allow it anyways, she's too strong willed and she's 85. Homes seem to fall into multiple categories, there's good and bad. My nan is pretty capable of looking after herself really, she just needs some extra help in some categories as well as some visits which are harder for my mum and I because we live rather far away. ,-,

[Strengthandhonour]

Originally Posted by Delbáeth

I'm not defending it.. but I know what Homes are like.

My mother has been working in Elderly Care Homes for a good 20 years. It isn't an easy job, and I can understand why some families just can't cope with it.

It is hard to cope with, I know that. My grandfather, the last years of his life were very painful for all of us. He suffered from Alzheimer's and it was quite hurtful to see a man that had been so strong and proud and had done so much for our family in such a painful state. But for all the effort and work he did for us, just like most parents or grandparents do for their children, the only thing we can do is return the favor.