A Continuously Written Narrative

[Susi]

Well the idea is that here I will write a narrative in about 30 minutes to an hour. Or however long. But it will be in one sitting. I hope you guys like it Criticism is always welcome.

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He sat up, brushing the strands of dark hair from his face. The blankets were thrown askew as he rotated out of bed, yawning perpetually. His brow wrinkled at the light motes that danced around the wide, curtainless window.

It was autumn. The trees blazed red. He walked briskly along the street. Tall wrought iron streetlights in a dull green lined his walk. Newspapers rustled beside him as the wind swept through. The sky was darkening and he increased his pace. Finally he saw the metro and ran in, just as the clouds plunged the streets into twilit rain.

As he descended into the pissodious malodourous metro station and pushed his pass through the turnstile, he heard the familiar chiming of the doors opening. He ran down the stairs and the also familiar chiming of the doors shutting rang through his ears as they slammed shut in front of him and the train departed. He grunted in annoyance and sat on one of the benches on the platform.

Seven minutes later, another train arrived, teeming with a mass of humanity. He wondered if they were cattle being taken to slaughter as he pushed his way violently onto the train and the chimes sounded a fourth time. An elbow went into his eye as he grasped desperately at the pole to support himself-- though it wasn't necessary. At last, after twenty minutes of hell, he extracted himself from the pile of meat and onto the platform.

As he ascended onto the street, the rain hit him. He cursed his forgetfulness and let the rain pound onto him as he sprinted to the office. He closed his dull eyes against the rain and screeched into the office on wet shoes.

"Michel, you're late again," the secretary scolded.

"The metro was late again," Michel grunted as he entered into his small office.

Michel shared his office with a youth from the countryside, Etienne, who was about five or six years his junior. Etienne was working quietly at his neatly arranged desk when Michel stormed in. By this time the sky was pitch black. Michel sat down grumpily and began to deal with the stacks of papers on his chaotic desk. Etienne turned and smiled brightly.

"How are you this morning, Michel?"

"The train was late, I forgot my umbrella, and I'm sopping wet. Plus I have to deal with this unimportant garbage on my desk. I don't see why the officials can't correct their own bills and laws or write their own letters"

"Well that's what we are here to do. I think it's fun."

Michel gazed witheringly at Etienne and his smile shrunk. Etienne turned back to editing whatever bill the politicians had written...

Several hours later, Etienne poked Michel with his umbrella.

"Michel, it's lunch time, do you want to come to the cafe?"

Michel stretched and said, "Fine, as long as I can smoke."

Etienne shrugged. "I don't mind.", though Michel knew that he did.

They huddled under Etienne's umbrella and walked to the cafe. They sat down outside under the awning. The waiter immediately brought them their usual lunch order. After eating an unremarkable meal and finishing their coffees, they paid and left. The rain had ceased, for a time, but the city was still under the reign of the twilight rain clouds. Etienne and Michel hurried back to the office.

They finished work at around 17h, and both went their separate ways. Etienne waved enthusiastically to Michel, and Michel put his hand up slightly but made no further effort to say farewell. He squeezed onto the metro and arrived back at his apartment. He threw his keys into a tray and locked the door behind him.

Michel ate a small meal and retreated to his bed, where he could dream for a while.

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So what do you think? I haven't edited it at all. So I know it is a little bad..