How traditional is cheek kissing in your part of Europe?

[Errigal]

I was watching yet another EU meeting on TV and I saw how uncomfortable Angela Merkel seemed to be with the double kiss greeting from other leaders. It made me wonder how common is it to give the double cheek kiss as a greeting in different European countries. What is it like in your area? Is it just for women or is it normal for men too? Has it been common for a long time or is it relatively modern? My father says he remembers it being uncommon in Germany and France in the 60’s and almost never seen in Ireland. Please let me know what is usual today and what was normal a few years ago in your part of Europe. Just curious.

[Strengthandhonour]

It is very common. Even so among men. Every time I see an uncle or a cousin is a kiss on both cheeks. With friends, it's usually a hand shake but in the special times its the kisses as well. Some people find it weird but when you grow up around it and everyone does it, it isn't so weird.
Sometimes among very close friends(only in guy-girl friendship) it is common to see one kiss on the cheek and one little peck in the mouth, sometimes two kisses on each cheek and one in the mouth. I remember when I was a kid around 8 I had a birthday party and the girl I liked at the time kissed me on both cheeks and a bit in the mouth..one of the advantages of such traditions

[Errigal]

Thanks, I already suspected that about the Italians! I believe the attraction of "La Dolce Vita" and the Venice Film Festival helped spread this sinfull kissing habit!

[Galaico]

Originally Posted by Strengthandhonour

Sometimes among very close friends(only in guy-girl friendship) it is common to see one kiss on the cheek and one little peck in the mouth, sometimes two kisses on each cheek and one in the mouth. I remember when I was a kid around 8 I had a birthday party and the girl I liked at the time kissed me on both cheeks and a bit in the mouth..one of the advantages of such traditions

Wow, that's cool, you score every time you go out and meet some female friends

[Carnyx]

It's common here in France and the number of kiss can vary from a region to another, sometimes 2, 3 or even 4.

As for myself, I'm used to cheek kissing girls even when I meet them for the first time. The guys, except for my very close relatives, I don't, although I've seen some cheek kissing others in a friendly way, no ambuguity of any sort here. It does exist but it's not the majority (I've also observed this trend among Arabs)

So basically it'd be a cheek kiss for a girl and a handshake for a guy. I however couldn't tell how old is the cheek kissing thing and if it either or not was a common way to salute a dame or relatives decades ago. I've to say that I like it even though I'm not always confortable with it.

[Menydh]

Sinful?

It's common here if it's a man and a woman, or two women. Never two men. I got a bit shocked the first time an Italian friend tried to kiss me on the cheek..

I would say that it's become more common in the last decades. Like using the casual pronoun for you instead of the formal.

[Strengthandhonour]

Originally Posted by A Fist Full of Snow

Thanks, I already suspected that about the Italians! I believe the attraction of "La Dolce Vita" and the Venice Film Festival helped spread this sinfull kissing habit!

When I am around non-Italians I just shake their hands, if I know they are into the kissing, I do it then too but not with men, because such as mynydd said, many people are freaked out by it. I think a very interesting film to watch it's this Danish/Italian movie, I believe its called Italian for beginers in English. It's a film about Northern European traditions and the differences to the Italians. It's about this group of characters, mostly Danes who take Italian lessons and a man who loves an Italian woman, it's a good watch.

[Errigal]

Sinful?

Well, I think anyone would tell you the Irish are much more reserved about such things.

It's common here if it's a man and a woman, or two women. Never two men. I got a bit shocked the first time an Italian friend tried to kiss me on the cheek..

I would say that it's become more common in the last decades. Like using the casual pronoun for you instead of the formal.

As you know, it cannot work the same way in English, but I have noticed how the British have started using each other's first names much more. It is Tony Blair's version of the "Citizen Dupont and Citizeness Dupont" of the French Revolution I guess. In Ireland, people seem to still call each other "Mister" and "Missus" in my experience. In a republic every man is a gentleman.

[svin]

It's normal here for a man to kiss a woman (usually one time, not double kiss) if he knows her well. If you don't know woman/meet her first time in your life, usually you don't kiss her.

Btw, shaking hands to women is even more rare. Either you kiss her, or you just say "hi" to her.

[Sergius]

Originally Posted by Strengthandhonour

I think a very interesting film to watch it's this Danish/Italian movie, I believe its called Italian for beginers in English. It's a film about Northern European traditions and the differences to the Italians. It's about this group of characters, mostly Danes who take Italian lessons and a man who loves an Italian woman, it's a good watch.

Oh, yes, Italiensk for begyndere, a hysterically funny movie. It says more about Danes than any other book or movie ever could. I really recommend it, both for the laughs and the insight into Denmark.

[Ricardo Reis]

Only Germanics (linguistically speaking- Celts included) are not familiar with it.
Cheek kissing, even between men is very common in Greece.

[Menydh]

I admit that at times it is uncomfortable for me, perhaps because I'm still a bit too classic when in comes to social manners.

First of all, I'm used to expect a sign. I don't know if this makes sense to you.. like for instance, when kissing a hand I don't go and grab the hand. I'll wait for the woman to move her hand slightly and then extend mine before she fully extends her forearm to hold her hand. Unfortunately this is rare today and it is only possible with women of the age of my mother.

Middle aged women might do it, but then when you hold her hand you notice something strange. Her hand is in a vertical position, not horizontal. In other words, they expect an "almost" as shake-hand.

Don't get me wrong. When I say kiss the hand I don't literally mean it, like in taking her hand and your head close and actually kiss, while bowing.

As for cheek kissing, which is done once on each cheek here, what I usually do is to put my cheek next to hers while holding her hand. Unless she is a good friend or a relative. And always after I notice that she expects me to do it.


One funny thing that happened time ago. I was going out with a girl and we had dated in some place. I told her that I would come along with a Spanish friend. She then told me that she would come with a friend of hers.

My friend told me that he would arrive a few minutes later, on his own. When I arrived, she introduced me to her friend. Obviously, her friend knew that for Spaniards it was usual to kiss both cheeks, so she approached her face when I held her hand. The bad news were that her face looked as if it had never recovered from a bad chickenpox. I did my best to put my cheeks next to hers.

When my friend arrived he first cheered my girlfriend with the usual cheek kissing. Then we introduced him to her friend and she did the same as with me.. my friend froze! His eyes opened wide and he couldn't help pulling a face between surprise and disgust.. he then pulled back a little and stretched his arm to her. It was a violent scene...

Later, I tried to apologize to my girlfriend for my friend's behaviour, trying to make her understand. She laughed out and told me that she actually understood my friend, but she couldn't understand how I dared to kiss her on the face!

[Susi]

Never seen it in Canada. Ever. I kiss my boyfriend on the cheek when I meet him sometimes but that's pretty much it. I'm sure if I kissed someone else on the cheek he would pound the living crap out of him or her!

I stick with hugs.

Originally Posted by Carnyx

So basically it'd be a cheek kiss for a girl and a handshake for a guy. I however couldn't tell how old is the cheek kissing thing and if it either or not was a common way to salute a dame or relatives decades ago. I've to say that I like it even though I'm not always confortable with it.

I wish it was like this here! <3 It would be fun!

Originally Posted by svin

It's normal here for a man to kiss a woman (usually one time, not double kiss) if he knows her well. If you don't know woman/meet her first time in your life, usually you don't kiss her.

Interesting..

Btw, shaking hands to women is even more rare. Either you kiss her, or you just say "hi" to her.

I usually shake hands with new people.

[Menydh]

Originally Posted by Susi

I usually shake hands with new people.

I go with Svin here. Shaking hands with a woman is a horrible thing to do. It's better to smile and say hello.