Siding with tradition: Area parish decides altar-serving is for the boys

[Erasmus]

Siding with tradition: Area parish decides altar-serving is for the boys

By Stephen P. Clark
Staff Writer

Published February 24 2007

Although most area Catholic churches follow the modern practice of using altar girls, a Norwalk parish recently reverted to a traditional boys-only policy and started a program for girls teaching them to sew, cook and arrange flowers for the altar.

The Rev. Greg Markey, pastor of St. Mary Church in Norwalk for three years, said he made the change to help deal with the shortage of priests. Girls who were altar servers before the change was announced last year were permitted to continue.

More than 20 girls have signed up for the Handmaids of the Altar since the program began in October. They help with the sacristy, creating baptism robes and altar linen. For their first project, the girls raised $175 selling cookies they baked.

In a newsletter published in July, Markey wrote that most parishes that use altar girls are trying to get them involved or are demonstrating equal opportunity.

"While equal opportunity is a noble sentiment, the bond between priest and the boys has now been lessened," he wrote. "There is also a certain awkwardness in teaching girls to take pride in a job that will never come to fruition, since they will never be able to become priests."

St. Mary is one of the few parishes in lower Fairfield County that prohibits altar girls. In Stamford, St. John the Evangelist Church uses altar boys only, though its Haitian Mass includes altar girls.

Markey realized the change could be controversial.

"Certainly the spirit of the society in which we live will not accept this," he wrote in the newsletter. "Yet this has nothing to do with equal rights. Men and women are equal in the eyes of God, and each has different gifts which should be allowed to develop in their proper environment."

Some of the girls cheered the program.

"I think it's fun," said Jennifer Murillo, 12, who has been an altar girl for two years. "It's better than going to Mass and not doing anything."

"It gives you something to look forward to," added 12-year-old Krista Vivirito, who has been an altar girl for four years. Both said they enjoy being in the Handmaids of the Altar program more than being altar girls because they get to do more activities and are separated from the boys.

Even so, Krista said, "it's not fair because everyone should get a chance to try new things."

Jennifer Overthrow, 12, joined the Handmaids program but never got the chance to be an altar girl. She said she wishes she could be an altar girl and does not agree with the policy change.

"It's profiling," she said.

Nationwide, only one diocese, in Lincoln, Neb., prohibits altar girls.

Pope John Paul II granted bishops permission for altar girls in 1994. The Roman Catholic Church prohibits female priests.

Nancy Dallavalle, a professor of religious studies at Fairfield University and a feminist theologian, said it is unclear to her how eliminating altar girls could solve the shortage of priests. "I think it's a mistake of judgment," she said. "I think this is not a healthy practice for a Catholic parish."

Christine Schenk, director of FutureChurch, a national coalition of parish-based Catholics that advocates opening ordination to women and married people, called the move misguided and the program sexist.

"I think to deny a young woman the opportunity, the privilege of serving at the altar is basically to send a message that you're not as good as the boy," she said, adding that the change "damages little girls."

Schenk agrees with Markey that boys and girls should be able to join separate clubs. "But why does it have to be altar servers?" she asked. "There are a number of ways that need could be met. I don't know why we have to build up boys at the expense of girls."

Stephan Genovese, a deacon who is in charge of the altar servers, declined to comment on the change in policy.

In an interview at his office, Markey said a handful of parishioners complained to him about the change, and one family left. But the program has drawn interest from other parishes. He said charges that the program is sexist are ignorant.

"I think any mother would love to have her daughter in it," he said.

Regina Sheltmire, director of the Handmaids of the Altar program, said recently that the group has grown from two members to 21 and that she plans to expand the program to weekly meetings.

Laura Padilla, a parishioner for eight years, said she didn't mind the change because it created an opportunity for her 7-year-old daughter, Tiany Brito, who had never served on the altar. "I love it," Padilla said of the program. "It's very interesting because it makes the girls feel good."

Rose Vivirito, whose son is an altar boy and daughters, Krista and Deanna, are handmaids and altar girls, said the elimination of altar girls did not concern her because the new program was offered. "It's nice if they're doing something for other people," she said.

Diocese of Bridgeport spokesman Joseph McAleer said he is not aware of other parish programs in the diocese similar to the Handmaids of the Altar. The diocese, he said, fully supports Markey and the change.

"Father Markey exemplifies the best qualities of a pastor, in bringing his parish family together and trying new ideas and programs to help everyone grow in holiness," McAleer said.

The Advocate contacted nearly 30 Catholic parishes in Stamford, Norwalk and Greenwich for this story. Most use boys and girls as altar servers. A few parishes did not return calls.

When Monsignor Stephen DiGiovanni assumed control at St. John the Evangelist Church in Stamford in 1998, he eliminated altar girls for the same reason as Markey. Some of the altar girls' parents complained, he said. "The usual stereotypical fears reared up in their heads," he said, "that I just didn't want girls around."

The reaction prompted DiGiovanni to write a homily explaining his intention of using altar-serving as a vocation for the priesthood. His sermon eased their concerns, he said.

Under his leadership, the number of altar servers has grown from a few to more than 30, he said. "It's become a real nice source of fraternity among the guys," he said.

High school- and college-age girls at St. John can join the St. Maria Goretti Society, which meets once a month to pray, watch movies and converse.

Ferry Galbert, a 21-year-old altar boy at St. John, said he believes only altar boys are able to develop a connection to the priests.

"I think you should just have altar boys," said Galbert, an altar boy for four years who is considering entering the priesthood. "It's them who are going to be priests."

Galbert added that being an altar boy is "a great way to express your love for God. . . . It should not be something you're doing for fun."

Our Lady Star of the Sea Church in Stamford - where four of the dozen altar servers are girls - is considering dividing the altar servers into gender-specific teams. "It would be middle-of-the-road," said Monsignor Edward Surwilo, pastor of the church. He said the boys seem to prefer being on their own, and he wants altar-serving to inspire them into the priesthood.

"Many priests got their inspiration through that road," he said. "When it opens up to the girls, there's a change. Boys don't always like girls. If they perceive it as a girl thing, you kind of lose that very strong path to priesthood."

St. Roch's Church in Greenwich - where half of the 20 altar servers are girls - has no plans to change its policy. The Rev. Nicolas Calabro, pastor of the church for 17 years, said he had thought the number of altar boys serving would drop when he allowed altar girls at his parish in 1994. "Not so," he said. "No significant differences."

Several altar girls remain at St. Mary's, alongside more than 30 altar boys, Markey said. Since the change was instituted, he said, he has already seen a difference in the boys' attitude. "They appreciate it," he said. "There's a real bond."

Markey said he hopes the change starts a trend. He said he believes the priest shortage stems mainly from a crisis of family values.

"The society is breaking down," he said. "Yeah, we're modern, but are we better?"


The Advocate - Siding with tradition: Area parish decides altar-serving is for the boys
The Advocate - Siding with tradition: Area parish decides altar-serving is for the boys