About Religion

[Alkman]

Quotes about Religion:


A lifetime is only one day in heaven...or in hell.
Unknown


If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
Voltaire 1694—1778


Watching a condemned criminal being led to the execution chamber.: There but for the grace of God go I.
Rev. George Whitefield 1714—1770


Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
Ambrose Bierce 1842—1914?

You have to just marvel at the stun-gun absurdity of fighting to the death over what happens after you die.
Dennis Miller 1953—

If there is no God then who has placed a pox on me and mocks me every day? Dan Castellaneta 1958—


If I had been present at Creation, I would have given some useful hints.
King Alfonso X 1221—1284


God, give me chastity and continence, but not just now.
St. Augustine 354—430 a.d.


Man serves God or god, but never both.
Reggie Barlow 1973—


If a man cannot be a Christian in the place where he is, he cannot be a Christian anywhere.
Henry Ward Beecher1813—1887


Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.
Garth Brooks 1962—


If God made the body, and the body is dirty, then the fault lies with the manfacturer.
Lenny Bruce 1925—1966


Thank God I’m an atheist.
Luis Buñuel 1900—1983


Faith is believing in what you know isn’t true.
Sir Arthur C. Clarke 1917—


You have to be prepared for the possibility that God does not like you.
Fight Club 1999


All religions must be tolerated ... every man must go to heaven in his own way. Die Religionen mü alle toleriert werden ... denn hier muss ein jeder nach seiner Fasson selig werden.
King Frederick II 1712—1786


I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forego their use.
Galileo 1564—1642


His last words: God will pardon me; that’s his line of work.
Heinrich Heine 1797—1856


The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.
Sir Richard Francis Burton 1821—1890


When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, “Why, God? Why me?” and the thundering voice of God answered, “There’s just something about you that pisses me off.”
Stephen King 1947—


Man’s best friend is his dogma.
Dr. Timothy Leary 1920—1996


The church says the earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for I have seen the shadow on the moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the church.
Ferdinand Magellan 1480—1521


When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord, in His wisdom, didn’t work that way. So I just stole one and asked him to forgive me.
Emo Phillips



Giving his reasons for refusing to see a priest as he lay dying.: I am curious to see what happens in the next world to one who dies unshriven.
Perugino 1450—1523


A man without religion is like a fish without a bicycle.
Vique



I considered atheism but there weren’t enough holidays.
Henny Youngman 1906-1998


How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
Woody Allen 1935-


If God is so powerful, can He make a rock that is so heavy that He Himself can’t lift it?
George Carlin 1937—


The only good thing to come out of religion was the music.
George Carlin 1937—


On the eighth day, man created God.
Unknown



Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I’ll forgive Thy great big one on me.
Robert Frost 1874—1963


Even the merest gesture is holy if it is filled with faith.
Franz Kafka 1883—1924


Some believe in the stars, I believe in the one who made them.
Unknown



Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
George Carlin 1937—


All so-called revealed religions consist mainly of three portions, a cosmogony more or less mythical, a history more or less falsified, and a moral code more or less pure.
Sir Richard Francis Burton 1821—1890


An athiest is a person who has no invisible means of support.
Unknown



God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Voltaire 1694—1778


When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers.
Oscar Wilde 1854—1900


To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible.
St. Thomas Aquinas 1227?—1274


I care not for a man’s religion whose dog or cat are not the better for it. President Abraham Lincoln 1809—1865


Why is it when we talk to God we’re praying, but when God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic?
Lily Tomlin 1939—


Man is certainly stark mad: he cannot make a flea, yet he makes gods by the dozens.
Michel de Montaigne 1533—1592


Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Ambrose Bierce 1842—1914?


A man cannot become an athiest merely by wishing it. N’est pas athée qui veut.
Napoleon Bonaparte1769—1821


Religion without mystery ceases to be religion.
Bishop William Thomas Manning 1866—1949


Religion has nothing more to fear than not being sufficiently understood.
King Stanislaus I 1677—1766


Religion is the best armor in the world, but the worst cloak.
Thomas Fuller 1654—1734


They say that God is everywhere, and yet we always think of Him as somewhat of a recluse.
Emily Dickinson 1830—1886


Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.
Blaise Pascal 1623—1662


A cult is a religion with no political power.
Thomas Wolfe 1900—1938


Often when I pray I wonder if I am not posting letters to a non-existent address.
C. S. Lewis 1898—1963


All places shall be hell that are not heaven.
Christopher Marlowe 1564—1593


Faith is an oasis in the heart which will never be reached by the caravan of thinking.
Khalil Gibran 1883—1931


Prisons are built with stones of law, brothels with bricks of religion.
William Blake 1757—1827


To stand on one leg and prove God’s existence is a very different thing from going down on one’s knees and thanking him.
Søren Kierkegaard 1813—1855


Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful.
Seneca 4? b.c.—65 a.d.


Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
George Carlin 1937—


Jesus died for our sins. Dare we make his sacrifice meaningless by not committing them?
George Carlin 1937—



If a man really wanted to make a million dollars, the best way to do it would be to start his own religion.
L. Ron Hubbard 1911—1986





http://www.jimpoz.com/quotes/category.asp?categoryid=16

[Awar]

From the same site as those in my sig?

[Milesian]

"If there were no God, there would be no atheists." - Where All Roads Lead, 1922

"The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and left untried." - Chapter 5, What's Wrong With The World, 1910

"The riddles of God are more satisfying than the solutions of man." - Introduction to the Book of Job, 1907

"These are the days when the Christian is expected to praise every creed except his own." - ILN 8-11-28

"Truths turn into dogmas the minute they are disputed."

"Happiness is a mystery like religion, and should never be rationalised"

"Carlyle said that men were mostly fools. Christianity, with a surer and more reverend realism, says that they are all fools"

" Is one religion as good as another?Is one horse in the Derby as good as another?"

" One can no more have a private religion than one can have a private sun or a private moon"


"It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it."


G.K. Chesterton

[Awar]

Originally Posted by Milesian

"If there were no God, there would be no atheists." - Where All Roads Lead, 1922

That's presuming that God really exists. The human concept of God surely exists.

"The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and left untried." - Chapter 5, What's Wrong With The World, 1910

Probably because it's not humanly possible to achieve.

"The riddles of God are more satisfying than the solutions of man." - Introduction to the Book of Job, 1907

All fiction is more satisfying than harsh reality.

"These are the days when the Christian is expected to praise every creed except his own." - ILN 8-11-28

Let me guess, the author is from a multi-culti country?

"Truths turn into dogmas the minute they are disputed."

Nope, it's just that everyone protects their own point of view.

"Happiness is a mystery like religion, and should never be rationalised"

Religion is an institution, nothing mysterious about it.

"Carlyle said that men were mostly fools. Christianity, with a surer and more reverend realism, says that they are all fools"

Perhaps fools in the eyes of perfection. Does Christianity consider itself perfect?

" Is one religion as good as another?Is one horse in the Derby as good as another?"

Even the best horse loses some day, becomes old and dies.

" One can no more have a private religion than one can have a private sun or a private moon"

Everyone has his own relation to the sun and the moon. Everyone has his own senses with which to perceive them.

"It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it."
G.K. Chesterton

Anyone can joke about anything, just as long as the inquisition doesn't hear them.

[Milesian]

You'd actually make a fine Novus Ordo Catholic, AWAR.
you should consider it

[Perun]

Yes the relationship between atheism and paganism is always a mystery. You would think a pagan and an atheist would have nothing to say to each other(one supposedly believes in god(s), while the other does not and rejects such a notion), but oddly they're always defending each other(epsecially against Christianity). Having been an atheist for several years I know this from first-hand experience. Ahhhh....such an interesting paradox.

As I often say, anti-Christians rarely agree on whats wrong with Christianity; they only agree that Christianity is just wrong.

[Milesian]

Originally Posted by Perun

Having been an atheist for several years I know this from first-hand experience.

Weren't we all?

[Perun]

I dont know if you could beat my rabid anti-christianity of my atheism days

[Awar]

Not that it surprises any of us.

Rabid atheist or staunch Christian... all the same to me,
just points to an overtly emotional bind between the person in
question with the 'thing' he stands for. Irratio

The bind between Atheism and Paganism?
There isn't one. It's just that some Atheists ( and Agnostics? )
find that Paganism is something which reminds of the days when
humanity was 'younger', uneffected by totalitarian faiths, institutionalized belief etc.

Some of us know that it's mostly a wrong opinion, but still, I'm more sympathetic
to a religion which developed from the young humanity's fascination with
nature, than religions which developed in societies which were terrified of nature.

[Perun]

Originally Posted by Awar

Some of us know that it's mostly a wrong opinion, but still, I'm more sympathetic
to a religion which developed from the young humanity's fascination with
nature, than religions which developed in societies which were terrified of nature.

Christians are not terrified of nature, they dont worship it like the pagans do. Worship of nature does not equal respect for it btw, contrary to popular myth.